Friday, 1 November 2013

FYI: this is why I drink

So there are days when you feel like an absolute SUPERWOMAN...

o   I’m talking about days when you wake up before your 6am alarm goes off

o   Days when the fucker from next door isn’t running his bath at the same time you’re trying to have a shower – so the water temperature is just right. [Joys of living in a flat]

o   When you want that perfect cup of coffee before jetting out the house and the milk doesn’t look like curd

o   When there’s zero cars on the M1 cause those little-traffic-causing monsters are on school holidays and you make it to work in 20mins

o   When you finish your month end reports in 3 hours flat and don’t develop a goitre from spell check telling you that alot isn’t a word

o   When you get home and the house doesn’t smell like a rat’s ass cause your adorable husband forgot to take the trash out when you asked him nicely the first NINE bloody times!

o   When you know exactly what you’re making for dinner and all the ingredients are there. Don’t you just hate it when you’re trying to make spinach ravioli and you have no spinach or ravioli? Arrrgh!

o   When you go to bed and your husband leaves you alone and you didn’t have to fake a headache this time.

Oh what a glorious day, but alas today is not one of them. Therefore, I drink!

I leave you with this: Lord, give me wine for the things I can change and vodka to accept the things I can’t. Amen

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