Movie review: Temptations – Confessions of a marriage counsellor

*Disclaimer: While I am fully aware that there is a higher possibility of me growing a left cashew than Tyler Perry actually reading this, a girl can still wax lyrical*

I must hand it to you Tyler (hope you don’t mind me calling you that), you really had me at first glance of this movies’ preview. I mean, it had everything - hot guys, limos, private jets, seduction, obsession and indignity. What more could a girl ask for on a blistering and mind-farting Thursday night?

Not sure if you know this, but I am an avid fan of your work. I’ve seen almost every one of your films, except for all the Madea one’s, at times I feel like the recourse to humour involving exaggerated physical activity can sometimes exceed the boundaries of common sense. [Mom, look I used big words *grin*]. But that’s beside the point.

It was while channel hopping one evening after my favourite cooking show, (yes, I like cooking Tyler) that I came across the preview. I recognised the cast, the scenes looked intense yet relatable, but it wasn’t until Judith sat across Harley on the private jet and said, “I don’t really dream anymore. What do you dream about?” and he replied in all his mannish sexiness, “You!”

After picking myself up off the floor from fainting, I bellowed to Sam, “Yhuuu! Babe, I have to see this.”

I must admit you almost threw me off in the beginning with that whole, let me tell you a story about my sister act, but then again what’s a movie without a good twist right?

Speaking of twists, I really don’t think this one was well thought-out though. I mean, any shrewd adult could’ve seen where that was going. Found it to become a slight cautionary tale about deviating from righteous church teachings.

Love me some Jurnee Smollett (Judith), she killed this role. No guesses as to why my favourite scene would’ve been the one of her and Harley in the bath tub, and then the plane, oh and then again on the kitchen counter… #pullsmindoutofgutter

Oh and while we’re in the gutter… Where on God’s green earth did you find Robbie Jones (Harley)? Like, you shouldn’t have even bothered with dialogue for that man. Shoulda just had him do scenes topless in just those tight black briefs he wore and the movie still would’ve been a hit.

Now to address the Kardashian elephant in the room… What were you thinking starring Kim K? Seriously, just because she starred in a sex tape doesn’t make the girl an actress. Moesha? Oops! I mean Brandy? Arrrgh! What was her name? Yeah, her... she wasn’t bad. Can’t say her role was too memorable though.

Without this being a spoiler alert for those that haven’t seen the movie, it really was not a bad night in. Two cups of sugar, two cups of spice and a slab of dark chocolate for that Lance Gross (Brice) who really represented for all the brothers who’s women are getting their own back – not that I condone any of this #sideeye.